I thought the opening of my climate change speech was rather good. "I have no interest in football," I said, "but I have seen pictures of the manager of a team playing its last game of the season, 2-1 down, and facing relegation, and in considering the outcome of the Cancun conference I thought of our Climate Action Commissioner.
The manager is saved by the scoring of a goal. The result is a draw. A vital point is secured and relegation avoided.
"It's not a triumph. But it's not a defeat. The manager lives to fight another day."
Guaranteed to maintain attention I thought.
Commissioner Connie Hedegaard responded: "Let me first respond to Mr Davies. I'm very sorry but I follow football even less than he does, and I did not quite understand the analogy."
Oh well. Back to the writing desk.