Monday, 7 September 2009


I am in my Stockport office getting an update from my casework officer, Danny, on issues recently taken up when press officer, Richard, shouts across: "tell him about the lizard e-mails."

Danny explains that we get a number of e-mails from people who believe that lizard beings are trying to take over the world. Hilary Clinton is an example of one person now firmly under their control it seems.

Jen, who works for the party, quietly mentions that cows have turned into killers. Four people have been trampled to death in recent months. A farmer died when his cows were, allegedly, spooked by a fire engine. Two walkers died when cows were, allegedly, aggressive towards the dogs accompanying them.

"The lizards report to the cows," said Danny, sagely.